I move behind her, squatting, and undo the clasp sliding the straps off her soft shoulders. I toss it aside and return my hands to her shoulders giving her a light massage. My hands work their way down her chest and cup her breasts in my hands from behind. They are nice full C-cups and her nipples poke into my palms. As I lightly pinch one with my right hand, the left moves up to her neck grasping her neck. I hear her whimper as her body stiffens. "Relax. Just a little pressure. I got you." My hand gives a little squeeze on her throat but an even tighter one on her nipple. Feeling a woman moan in your hand is quite a sensation. The left hand works it way behind her head grasping her hair and gently pulls her head back while I continue fondling her right breast. I whisper, "You like this shit, don't you?" She licks her lips before swallowing hard and gasping out a "yea". I drop my hands and stand up realizing she'd been leaning on me for support. She rocks back into her kneeling. But, sadly, it's too late to change any of that. If I had it to do all over again, I would do so many things differently. I made my bed, now I must lie in it, forever. I have to atone for the pain I caused. It's my burden, and some days, I truly do struggle with it. The words are just words, i can say "I'm sorry" a billion times a day, and it wouldn't make any difference. No amount of "I'm sorry" can bring you back, or take away the pain that I've caused. The only "I'm sorry" that really matters, is the one deep inside of my heart, that I hope that you can feel, and hear when I talk to you. That feeling of being alone will be there forever my sweet, because I let you down. I'm cursed to live the life that your mom had mentioned, alone, and regretting not showing you how I truly felt.My life will never be whole again. I will continue to exist, probably for a very long time, but, I'll never feel as truly happy as I did. Three long years, is just the first steps into the life that I.
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